Magic Questions
If someone asked you “what kinds of jobs have you had in your career,” that might be an easy answer. But if they asked, “Do you remember the first job you ever had? The toughest? The best?” Odds are good you would instantly come up with a story.
The difference between receiving a generic answer and a rich, personal story often lies in the way you ask a simple question. I call these “magic” questions. They are the ones that get the person you are meeting or interviewing to rapidly search all the millions of “file cards” in their brain and come up with a definitive answer.
The first, best, most, last... usually these are the “st” words in English (favourite” works too, though deconstructed it would be “most favoured I guess!).. These work like magic. They will always get a response, and because they are superlatives, they will be laced with the emotion of a choice. And the odds are high that they will yield a story to follow.
Consider the power of these “superlative” questions:
From Fact to Emotion (The Snowball):
Ask "Have you ever made a snowball?" and you'll get a 'yes' or 'no.'
Ask, "When was the last time you made a snowball?" and you might just get a story.
Just last week the streets were not clear yet, but a new snowfall overnight had left a new, clean layer. He grabbed a handful, held it till it melted enough to make a mini snowball, scrunched up in his palm. Then he pitched it. That was the last time he held snow this season.
From Generic to Personal (The Restaurant):
Ask "I'm looking for a recommendation for a restaurant in your city." (A quick list).
Ask, "What is your favourite restaurant?" (A personal experience, a memory.)
It might take you a while to answer the first question. But asking for your 'favorite' immediately directs you to a single, memorable spot and the story of why you love it.
In an Interview (The Politician):
The politician who only gives the party line will shift when asked to step outside the platform.
Ask, "What was the first thing you tried?" or "What worries you most about the project?”
The interviewer had to change tactics from boring "what next" questions to the "magic questions" that were about him, his views, his thoughts... not just the party platform. The politician shifted.
From Chronology to Significance (The Tattoo):
Ask "When did you get your tattoos?"
Ask instead, "Tell me about your first one."
The first time she thought about getting a tattoo was years ago. She remembered thinking, would it hurt? What would it look like years later? Now, she looks down at the image snuck out from under her sleeve. Her first one, it’s still the one she remembers the most.
The questions that get at the extremes of our experience—the first time, the last time, the best, or the toughest—are like magic. They will always get us to think, and will get at something personal, memorable, and thoughtful.
Try it out: What is the last conversation you had where a "first" or "last" question completely changed the dynamic? Share your story!
#leadership #communication #interviewtips #storytelling #personaldevelopment
